So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
