i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
