Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
