11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
