You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
