Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
