I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
