I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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