so that wasnt chicken after all
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
