thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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