Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we're making bets on your personal life
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
