can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
