i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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