): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
