Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
