He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
