Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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