You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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