He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
