I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
