hell yes lets make some ravioli
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
