Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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