Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
