Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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