it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
