Non-Jews are for practice
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
