If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
