forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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