Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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