It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
