No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
