Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
