No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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