Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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