It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
