He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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