Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
