dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
