Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
