You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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