1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
