Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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