I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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