i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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