So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
