Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
