I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
