After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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