Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
