eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
