That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
