You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
