We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
