I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
