it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dick very happy bro
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
